Forget Dating Apps. Your Birth Chart Knows Your Soulmate

Hey, I’m the other Michelle — founder of Lora and a self-proclaimed serial monogamist. Love has kind of always been my thing.

By the Lora Team — May 19, 2026 — 12 min read

Hey, I’m the other Michelle — founder of Lora and a self-proclaimed serial monogamist. Love has kind of always been my thing.

Before Lora, I spent years as the CPO at Hinge helping build a product designed to help people find meaningful connection. I was there during Hinge’s hypergrowth era, invented Voice Prompts (yw for that!), and helped scale the product into one of the fastest-growing dating apps in the world.

The irony is that while I was spending so much time thinking about how other people find love, I wasn’t always doing the best job of it in my own relationships.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the deeper needs people have in a world that feels increasingly disconnected and emotionally confusing. And this week, the Lora team and I kept coming back to one topic over and over again: love. It’s easily one of the most common things people in our community ask about.

The truth is most people don’t actually know what they need in love.

We think we know what we're attracted to, or what creates chemistry. We definitely, probably know what keeps us chasing. But those things are not always the same as what makes us feel emotionally safe, deeply understood, or truly partnered.

So many relationships are built around unconscious patterns: trying to recreate childhood dynamics, trying to earn love, trying to fix something unresolved in ourselves through another person. And often, we don’t realize it until we hit a breaking point. Until the same conflict keeps repeating. Until something in us finally says: this isn’t working anymore.

This weekend’s New Moon in Taurus brought many of those questions to the surface. Taurus rules stability, security, intimacy, and our deeper relationship needs. And with Venus in Gemini during the New Moon, many of us felt more compelled to finally express what we’ve been needing but avoiding saying out loud.

At the same time, Mars was aligned with Chiron, the “wounded healer” connected to our deeper emotional wounds. Old sensitivities may have surfaced. Conversations may have felt more charged than usual. Tensions may have finally reached a point where they needed to be addressed.

The astrology felt like a relationship reset: a moment to become more honest about what we actually need from partnership and whether the relationships in our lives are truly meeting us there.

Which got me thinking: what if our birth charts could help us understand the kind of partner we truly need? Not just the people we’re magnetized toward because they feel familiar. But the people who genuinely align with how we love, attach, communicate, and feel safe.

When we think about astrology and soulmates, we usually focus on the other person. But the real starting point is understanding yourself. Because until you understand your own patterns in love, it’s difficult to recognize what real compatibility actually feels like. And take it from me, when you find that person, your person, it will be worth all the stumbles and work along the way :)

Michelle Grodnick breaks it all down for us below. Let’s dive in!

Using the Birth Chart to find your Soulmate

By expert astrologer, Michelle Grodnick

Birth Charts are highly nuanced and complex, but as an educational foundation, we can point to 3 major points in your birth chart that can help you figure out what you really need in relationships.

So first things first: pull up your Birth Chart.

First, look for the Moon.

The Moon represents your inner emotional world, how you were mothered/nurtured as a child, and how you feel safe. In relationships, the Moon shows you your attachment style, how you feel secure in relationships, and how your needs get met.

Find your moon sign below to read more about your likely attachment style. Note that a big factor that is not accounted for here is the aspects that the moon makes to other planets. This can seriously affect how the sign of the moon manifests.

Aries Moon

You need to feel like you have room to breathe in the relationship, like there is space to grow and make your own decisions. It may be hard for you to let a partner in and be on their schedule/needs because you have a core need for independence.

Taurus Moon

It’s giving secure attachment. You know what you need, and you won’t settle for chaos. You’re looking for a grounded and clear connection that isn’t always changing course. You need consistency, comfort, and financial stability. When you’re in your feels, your partner must provide physical touch & ice cream. No exceptions.

Gemini Moon

You feel your best in relationships when there is clear communication. You may get a bit anxiously attached because you have an active mind that is constantly playing out scenarios. So there might be this cycle where you toil about a situation, and then once you sit down and talk about it, you feel way better because the conversation was really what you needed.

Cancer Moon

You really need time. You really only feel safe once you’ve known someone for a long time. At first, you may be more avoidant and weary to let someone else in. But as time goes on, it becomes clear that what you really need is a strong, nurturing presence, so things can feel anxious sometimes because you’re scared to ever be without them.

Leo Moon

What Leo Moon actually needs is to be validated. You need to be seen in your true essence in order to feel safe in a relationship. No one can change you, and if they try, you will get anxious. There may be a dance between anxious & avoidance because if you’re not being seen, you get anxious, but then if your partner needs the same, you could potentially avoid that.

Virgo Moon

You’re the fixer. If something feels emotionally off or misaligned in your relationship, you immediately jump to solutions instead of wallowing in feelings. If you’re with someone who needs to wallow, this solution-oriented mindset can come off as avoidant. The thing is, it comes from a place of just wanting to help.

Libra Moon

You’re all about fairness. There is a core need for a mutual give-and-take in relationships. If things are off balance, you will emotionally manage the situation to try to level the scales. For example, if your partner is “needy,” you’ll tend toward avoidance, but if your partner feels distant, you will express more of an anxious attachment.

Scorpio Moon

You have a core need for emotional entanglement. Surface-level connection won’t do it for you, as you need to feel fully merged with your partner. Because your emotional world runs so deep, there can be a fear of betrayal or abandonment that creates a push-pull dynamic between anxious and avoidant attachment. You crave intimacy, but only if it feels emotionally safe enough to surrender.

Sagittarius Moon

You find connection through shared experiences. Stagnancy is the worst thing you can feel. Because you have a core need to explore life, you can find yourself in avoidance if your partner doesn’t share the same kind of enjoyment. However, as long as you are exploring together, you are able to feel secure.

Capricorn Moon

It’s hard to crack your needs open. You feel safest when you’re “holding it all together,” which can make emotional vulnerability feel uncomfortable or even weak. Because of this, you may lean avoidant, especially if someone is emotionally overwhelming you. But underneath that, you need loyalty, stability, and someone who proves they’re dependable over time.

Aquarius Moon

There is a tendency toward avoidant attachment- it’s not because you’re stone cold, you’re just not concerned with the mundane parts of a relationship. You have a need for expansion, community, and possibility, so sitting 1:1 with someone else talking about your day-to-day life feels… unnecessary.

Pisces Moon

You have a core need to enmesh in your relationship. You want to feel spiritually and emotionally intertwined with your partner, like there are no walls between you. Because you’re so sensitive to energy and emotion, boundaries can get blurry, which can create anxious attachment when you feel disconnected or uncertain. You need softness, reassurance, and a relationship that feels like a safe emotional escape from the rest of the world.

Next, look for Venus.

Venus is the planet of relationships, beauty, and self-worth. It has a lot to say about our love language. Remember, we aren’t accounting for planetary aspects here, but find your Venus sign below for the love language it represents:

Venus in Aries: Quality Time & Physical Touch

Venus in Taurus: Physical Touch & Gifts

Venus in Gemini: Words of Affirmation & Quality Time

Venus in Cancer: Quality Time & Physical Touch

Venus in Leo: Words of Affirmation & Gifts

Venus in Virgo: Acts of Service & Words of Affirmation

Venus in Libra: Gifts & Words of Affirmation

Venus in Scorpio: Quality Time & Physical Touch

Venus in Sagittarius: Quality Time & Words of Affirmation

Venus in Capricorn: Acts of Service & Quality Time

Venus in Aquarius: Acts of Service & Words of Affirmation

Venus in Pisces: Quality Time & Gifts

Lastly, look for your Descendant.

The descendant is exactly opposite your ascendant (also known as your rising sign). As its natural opposite, if the ascendant represents how you approach life, then the descendant is what you attract in life. Relationship astrology expert Brian Clark says, “The Descendant is symbolic of qualities attractive in others yet perhaps still unconscious in ourselves.” When you meet someone with qualities of your descendant, it feels like “you complete me.”

Check your rising sign to see the kind of relationship you are attracting in this lifetime:

Aries Rising: Libra Descendant

You’re attracting a relationship that is fair and mutually beneficial. Your person is always thinking about your needs and has a sharp moral compass. They are the perfect guide that helps you focus your drive & energy.

Taurus Rising: Scorpio Descendant

Your other half has high emotional intelligence and can anticipate your needs even before you can. They are consistent, loyal, and you can trust them with anything. You can actually relax because there is a deep sense of “I got you.”

Gemini Rising: Sagittarius Descendant

Your relationships are an adventure. The people you attract have big ideas, expansive mindsets, and keep you on your toes. There is never a dull moment, and life with them feels like an adventure. They get you out of your head and into the world around you.

Cancer Rising: Capricorn Descendant

You’re attracting someone who can PROVIDE. This means they are reliable, stable, and mature. They may be older than you or just have that aura about them that they are wise beyond their years. There is a grounded sense of loyalty and no question about their commitment to you.

Leo Rising: Aquarius Descendant

You’re the star, and your person is your forever-enthralled audience. Your partner rallies around you and brings community into your life that makes you feel seen on a grand scale. You never have to be anything but yourself because your partner has their own eccentric way about them.

Virgo Rising: Pisces Descendant

You’re looking for a spiritual presence in your life. Someone who can take you out of the mundane and into the romantic, dreamy, and emotional parts of life. This person makes you forget about your to-do list in the best way. They also benefit greatly from your planning abilities and are immensely grateful for the stability you bring into their life.

Libra Rising: Aries Descendant

Your person is fiercely independent in a way that you don’t have to worry about them. They have their own thing going, and it feels like two whole people coming together– they’re not looking for you to fill some void. There is a youthful excitement in your relationship that makes you feel like a kid again.

Scorpio Rising: Taurus Descendant

You’re looking for someone who calms you down. They are like a warm blanket wrapped around you, making you feel safe and secure. You don’t need to fret, worry, or reel about the state of the relationship, because your person is so clear and unshakeable. They also have great taste and give the best massages.

Sagittarius Rising: Gemini Descendant

Your person is the best communicator you know. They are wildly intelligent and ask you the best questions– and even better, they love to listen as you philosophize and go on and on about your latest interest. There is a mental compatibility between you two; you just get how the other one thinks.

Capricorn Rising: Cancer Descendant

You’re a provider to your core, and your person creates the safe, loving container for you to do so. You build a house, and your partner makes it a home. They are wildly supportive and do everything they can to nurture your ambitious goals. They are the only ones who can bring out your softer side.

Aquarius Rising: Leo Descendant

Life’s a party when you’re with your person. There is a certain magnetism to them where they become your muse. Even though you’re not like this on your own, when you’re in a relationship, you actually love to show it off and maybe even dabble in some PDA. Your relationship is a sense of pride for you– it’s one of your proudest accomplishments.

Pisces Rising: Virgo Descendant

You need someone who has it together. They pack your bags for your trip, make sure you’re eating healthy, and provide you with a stable ground to walk on when you’re feeling all over the place. They have a way of understanding the way you feel without you needing to explain.

Combine the wisdom you’ve learned across your Moon sign, Venus sign, and Descendant sign to get a bigger picture of the person you’re meant to partner with. And if your current relationship isn’t giving you these needs, it’s time to vocalize this & get what you truly deserve: which is a relationship that feels satisfying, full, and meaningful.